Goodbye 2011....

2011 was an eventful year to say the least. I’m well aware of the truth in common adages like “ life is full of challenges” and “the only thing certain about life is uncertainty”, but this year’s life lessons seemed to have come from the Biblical book of Job. Okay, maybe I was not afflicted with sores or the loss of all of my worldly possessions but this year definitely sucked to say the least.


The year culmintated with the loss of my father in later October. Watching him die and later planning his funeral were the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. No amount of meditation or preparation can prepare you for such a devastating loss. And, while I welcome life’s opportunities for personal growth and maturation, I prefer my life lessons come in the form of Joel Osteen sermons or observing the misadventures of the Housewives of (pick your city).

But as the Romans 8:28 says “all things work together for the good of those who love Him”, for it was throughout these trying trials that I was affirmed of the primary benefit of marriage: true partnership. My husband was by my side at all times offering his support, not only in words but in action. If the tables had been turned, I’m not even sure that I would have been able to be as supportive, positive and gracious in the face of such adversity.

So as my friends and neighbors begin 2012 by resolving to reduce their waistlines or honor Oprah by refraining from texting while driving, I’m resolving to take a queue from the Bible by actively choosing to set my mind on positive things. Philippians 4:8 says “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”. It would be easy to wallow in self pity and focus solely on the negatives from the past year, but I’m choosing instead to focus the positives, thanking God for a supportive spouse, and thanking Him in advance for an awesome 2012.

Get Motivated

Where has the time gone! Looks like my vow to post something here at least once a month got lost in the holiday bustle. That and my laziness tends to go into overdrive between my birthday and New Year’s. But I have managed to pull myself from my preferred reclined position on the sofa watching ubiquitous Law & Order re-runs to jot down  another marriage-related epiphany.

This latest revelation came while sitting through a never ending series of motivational speakers at the Get Motivated! Seminar in Dallas. (Yep, some genius at my company thought it would be a good idea to send our entire department to this.) Between Zig Ziggler’s cute one liners, Emmett Smith’s robotic speech delivery (poor thing, he tried, but you could tell he was nervous) and Steve Forbes’ “make money, don‘t let it make you” talk, I actually kept my eyes open long enough to glean some universal advice from one of the speakers… “Words of encouragement can go a long way. Be sure to encourage and motivate other as they work towards their goals.” 

This advice is not only applicable to the workplace, but to a marriage as well. Its so easy to focus on your personal goals (finishing school, getting the promotion, losing 10 pounds) instead of shifting your focus to your spouse and their goals. They also require encouragement and as partners for life, you should be each other’s loudest cheerleaders. So if your spouse is working on opening a business or finishing grad school, you should be there to listen to his ideas and encourage him as he makes moves.

Now of course there’s always a caveat.  As each other’s BFFs, you should not hesitate to provide a dose of reality when needed. For example, if your spouse feels led to liquidate your retirement funds in order to pursue his goal of becoming a platinum rapper at the age of 40, you need to encourage him to reconsider that goal for a more realistic one.

So I’m making an extra effort at encouraging my spouse to achieve his personal goals and he’s doing the same for me. Now I just need to work on cheering for those “characters” that I work with…that’s going to take some extra effort!