Clean House

I can't lie, one of the best parts of getting married (besides becoming “Mrs._________”) is all the gifts that you and your spouse receive. Toasters, coffee makers, cash, blenders, vases, frames – did I mention the cash? It was as if I were a kid at Christmas, ripping through every beautifully wrapped package and digging through the Styrofoam peanuts just to see what new item lay beneath. However, what no one tells you is that someone will have to clean up all that pretty wrapping paper and put away all of those nice new gifts. And in this case, that proverbial “someone” will most likely be “wifey”. This initial post-nuptial exercise commonly known as “de-cluttering” is only a preview of the domestic responsibilities you, the woman, will take on as a newlywed.

Even in today's modern society where women work outside of the home in record numbers, women are still considered the primary caretakers of the home. According to a 2009 Consumer Reports/Smart Money survey, 83% of married women report they do the majority of household cleaning; which includes scrubbing tubs, toilets, stoves- all of the things she'd rather pay someone else to do!

While the word “tidy” has never been used to describe me, I'm not a complete slob either. I fall somewhere in the middle between a garbage pail kid and Martha Stewart. Cleaning up after myself, let alone someone else, is definitely not my idea of fun, but it is a necessary task that all newlywed wives must tackle.

Don't get me wrong, I am in no way implying that you should serve as your man's personal cleaning service...just don't be shocked if you end up with the greater share of the household cleaning chores. Even if you decide to hire a housekeeper, who do you think will be the one to check up on her work?

My husband and I decided the best solution for us is to equally split the housework between the two of us. Well at least that’s our intent. In reality some weeks, we both contribute our share and our home looks like the “after” from an episode of “Clean House.” While other weeks, I can't find the time to finish folding clothes and we have to fetch them from the dryer on before going into work Monday morning. I'm a work in progress. The key is to be patient and forgive yourself and your spouse. Truth be told, you'll have a lifetime together to figure out the nuances of household cleaning schedules.

Here are a few suggestions that helped hubby and I avoid dreaded disputes over household cleaning:

1. Define “Clean” - We were presented with this exercise during our premarital counseling; describe in detail your definition of a clean house. Does this mean spotless floors, fresh towels on a daily basis, “Windex-ed” mirrors, and sanitized bathroom surfaces? Be specific! I can recall a particularly lengthy (and humorous) discussion that my husband I had regarding our preferences in bathroom cleaners. I espoused the virtues of Lysol Tub & Tile Foam Spray while he defended the cleaning power of the old school favorite, “Comet”. That may be a little too detailed, but be sure to communicate any preferences or “deal breakers” (i.e. hair in the sink, wet towels on the floor, etc).

2. Make a Schedule – We follow a cleaning schedule which works pretty well for us. On Saturdays I start the laundry and do the major bathroom and kitchen cleaning; he clears out all of the garbage and extra clutter that's found its way into the house during the week. Pick whatever chores you hate the least and dive in! You'll have a clean house in no time!

3. Over Communicate – The “C” word seems to be at the core of everything in a marriage, even household chores. If you feel that your spouse isn't pulling his/her fair share of the weight in the cleaning area, let them know! You definitely don't want resentment to grow while your spouse is completely clueless.