Now that the continuous stream of media coverage following Whitney Houston’s death has slowed to a trickle, I can’t help but think back to some of my favorite Whitney memories. No, it’s not Whitney winning Grammy after Grammy in the 80’s (I barely remember that stuff anyways), it’s not when she time traveled through fashion in the “I’m Your Baby Tonight Video”, and it’s not even when she starred in the groundbreaking girlfriend flick “Waiting to Exhale”. No, my favorite memories occur during her “Bobby Brown years”. Yes, I know it’s wrong to find bits of amusement in someone else’s misfortune, but I loved her in all of her crazy until the very end. I can’t help but giggle when I think back to some of Whitney’s most memorable quotes during those years, especially “crack is whack” (still wondering about the drug dealers that keep receipts) and “Bobbeeeeeee” along with other candid comments caught on the disastrously hilarious “Being Bobby Brown”. From the outside, Whitney and Bobby’s union was a comedian’s dream, a hilarious heap of cocaine-fueled crazy that seemed to continue on as if propelled by inertia. But the romantic in me believes that these two truly did love each other until the end. But here’s the thing, not all love is good love. I might love to ride on roller coasters at Six Flags sans safety belt, allowing myself to experience the rush of adrenalin as I swerve speedily around the coaster’s curves and feeling my body attempt to escape from my seat as the coaster barrels down steep hills, but I can’t do this in reality because it is incredibly dangerous and contradicts that whole “self preservation” thing that I’m really into. Whitney and Bobby’s love was similar. I’m sure it felt great to both of them, but they were completely unhealthy for each other. What they shared was a tainted love.
As Whitney and Bobby’s marriage illustrates, strong feelings of love fueled by lust and desire are definitely not grounds to go off and marry someone. I’m sure many of us have significant others from the past that we loved (or at least thought we loved) but would agree that they are “exes” for good reason. Perhaps that person was brought into your life for some other reason, like teaching you patience, or showing you what traits you definitely cannot tolerate in a significant other. That’s why in every relationship you need to do as the old-school hymn says and “take everything to God in prayer”. Pray for guidance. Pray for discernment. Pray that your own feelings do not get in the way of His will. And then wait on an answer. Praying is a lot wiser than wasting time in a tainted love with someone that is no good for you anyway.
