As a newlywed, it seems that the general public gives you about 1 month or so to enjoy your new status as husband and wife before “they” feel that a you should add a third person to the mix…a BABY! And the baby questions begin. The baby questions include variations of the following:
- So when are you guys going to have kids?
- When should I expect a grandchild/niece/nephew?
- How many kids do you want?
- Have you started trying for kids yet?
-How old are you? You don’t want too long! (you get this especially if you are anywhere in the vicinity of 30)
You get the idea.
Depending on my mood, my response ranges from a simple “No, not just yet” to “So do you plan on helping me take care of these babies you tryin’ to make me have!”
These questions will come from people you barely know that well (i.e. co-workers, unintentionally annoying relatives, people at Wal-Mart…okay, maybe I‘m exaggerating but do you get the idea?). For some reason people feel comfortable getting all up in your personal business when it comes to this baby stuff.
Bringing a child into this world is a decision that you and your spouse should make together WITHOUT the influence of external parties. The discussion about when to have kids, how many to have, and how to raise them should be added to the list of “Things to Discuss Before Marriage*”. And the discussion should be detailed like:
-Do you believe in “spare the rod, spoil the child” or are you all for “time outs” ?
-Private School vs. Public Schools
-What’s your definition of too much punishment or spoiling (For example: Should you make the kids work for their first car or just give them a Maybach on their 16th birthday like Diddy gave Justin on MTV‘s “Sweet 16“?)
-When should our daughter get a perm (My husband and I had this discussion after seeing “Good Hair”)
-Should someone stay home the first few years?
-How should we censor their media exposure (Is a little Lil’ Wayne okay or should we keep them on a strict Radio Disney only diet?)
Right now, I’m not ready give up my “play money” (money for impromptu trips abroad, shopping and other selfish miscellany) to deal with paying what amounts to a mortgage each month in childcare nor am I quite ready to sacrifice my free time to attend to the needs of a little “bundle of joy”.
My husband and I made the decision (before getting married) to enjoy our time together as husband and wife(sans babies) for a certain amount of time. The way we see it, our relationship is the foundation that our future family will be built upon and we want to ensure that it is as strong and as solid as possible.
So for now, I’m completely content with honing my diaper changing, burping, and mothering skills on other folks babies, until God blesses us with a “rugrat” of our own.
*a good premarital counselor can help guide you through this discussion
- So when are you guys going to have kids?
- When should I expect a grandchild/niece/nephew?
- How many kids do you want?
- Have you started trying for kids yet?
-How old are you? You don’t want too long! (you get this especially if you are anywhere in the vicinity of 30)
You get the idea.
Depending on my mood, my response ranges from a simple “No, not just yet” to “So do you plan on helping me take care of these babies you tryin’ to make me have!”
These questions will come from people you barely know that well (i.e. co-workers, unintentionally annoying relatives, people at Wal-Mart…okay, maybe I‘m exaggerating but do you get the idea?). For some reason people feel comfortable getting all up in your personal business when it comes to this baby stuff.
Bringing a child into this world is a decision that you and your spouse should make together WITHOUT the influence of external parties. The discussion about when to have kids, how many to have, and how to raise them should be added to the list of “Things to Discuss Before Marriage*”. And the discussion should be detailed like:
-Do you believe in “spare the rod, spoil the child” or are you all for “time outs” ?
-Private School vs. Public Schools
-What’s your definition of too much punishment or spoiling (For example: Should you make the kids work for their first car or just give them a Maybach on their 16th birthday like Diddy gave Justin on MTV‘s “Sweet 16“?)
-When should our daughter get a perm (My husband and I had this discussion after seeing “Good Hair”)
-Should someone stay home the first few years?
-How should we censor their media exposure (Is a little Lil’ Wayne okay or should we keep them on a strict Radio Disney only diet?)
Right now, I’m not ready give up my “play money” (money for impromptu trips abroad, shopping and other selfish miscellany) to deal with paying what amounts to a mortgage each month in childcare nor am I quite ready to sacrifice my free time to attend to the needs of a little “bundle of joy”.
My husband and I made the decision (before getting married) to enjoy our time together as husband and wife(sans babies) for a certain amount of time. The way we see it, our relationship is the foundation that our future family will be built upon and we want to ensure that it is as strong and as solid as possible.
So for now, I’m completely content with honing my diaper changing, burping, and mothering skills on other folks babies, until God blesses us with a “rugrat” of our own.
*a good premarital counselor can help guide you through this discussion
